Through the Dystopian Door

What are you grieving?

Since 2002, my husband and I have regularly gone on international mission trips. My husband has been on at least 20 and I have been on at least 16. We’ve separately or together been to Romania, Tanzania, Ghana, Haiti, Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Guatemala, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Honduras and Colombia. I have often commented that mission trips are the best way to travel, because it gives you an opportunity to meet and work with the people of the country, rather than just sightseeing. This was especially true of Ghana, where we spent three months managing a guesthouse for missionaries. (Not a skill set we previously had!)

My last trip was in February of 2020, although my husband has traveled once since then. As usual, I came home with lots of good memories, but, alas, no souvenirs, because I got sick after eating chorizo the night before the trip to the beautiful city of Antigua. Little did I know I’d missed my last chance to visit the city, but I had been several times previously and purchased many things. Who can resist when the Guatemalan lady in her colorful typical outfit encourages you by saying, “No problem, your husband will pay.” Sure enough, he always did.

Back at home, we continued to correspond with two young men who indicated they wanted to follow Christ and had met with us for one session of discipleship. I anticipated that another trip would be in the works later that year, or the next. Like all of you, I suppose, I had no idea that the world was about to change forever in March of that year. I won’t elaborate on our experiences in 2020, beginning with fear and then gradually realizing that something was amiss, except to say that, at first, we were waiting and watching before taking the so-called vaccine, but then decided we definitely would not do so. As time goes on, I am ever more thankful that we made that decision. Instead of reminiscing on the insanity of 2020, I will focus on my grief.

Some of you have undoubtedly had much more to grieve than I have. Perhaps you had a family member who succumbed to the murderous covid hospital protocols, or who was injured or killed by the shots. Perhaps you have, yourself, been injured by the shots, or you lost your job because you would not comply. As the world fell into line and restrictions were placed on travel, I realized that my unvaccinated status would prevent me going on future trips. Even after the restrictions were dropped, I still felt that chapter of my life was closed, and I grieved. The missionary family we worked most closely with returned to the U.S. for a short visit in 2022. The wife/mother got a covid booster shot and was so badly injured that she was never able to return to Central America. Of course, I grieved for her, and I still feel anger toward those who deceived her, and so many others. She did not connect her problems to the shots until I suggested it, and a doctor later confirmed the connection. Now, in 2024, with vaccinated pilots collapsing and dying, plane parts falling off, the uncertainty about what our corrupt government might do next, not feeling like I can count on U.S. embassies to help if needed, (think Afghanistan) and my age (71) it does seem like my ministry is now limited to the U.S. As have many of you, I also suffered stress and grief when others scolded me for not stepping up to do my part and be vaccinated.

I’m not going to try to do the impossible and list people I’ve met on my overseas trips, but there are some who come to mind often. I wonder what happened to the young man sitting on the park bench in Colombia, who seemed distraught about something, but would not accept help; or Rafael, who walked up to us and said he’d come to stand in front of the church, hoping to receive a sign from God. He didn’t think he could be forgiven by God, but as we shared scripture, his face gradually softened and he submitted his life to Christ. I’d love to see the group of boys who approached me in a colonia in Guatemala and, after talking a bit, lined up to give me a hug. Their photo is below. I wonder if the guy in Ghana who called himself Cappucino ever read the Bible we gave him. Did the farmer and his family in Tanzania, with whom we shared the gospel, as well as a Swahili language copy of the book of John, ever trust in Christ? And the translators I met! Mario promised to protect me from dogs and kept me laughing as we walked about. There’s one photo of what I remember as a very serious conversation with an elderly man and his wheelchair-bound wife, but I am laughing. What had Mario said to me?

As I thought of all these people and so many more, one day this thought came to my mind. “Don’t be sad because you will never see them again, be glad that you met them.” It brought a smile to my face and lightened my heart. I will see some of them in heaven and what a reunion that will be! Meanwhile, I have lots of photos and videos.

So we returned home in February of 2020, unpacked and returned to our normal life here. That normalcy came to an end in March as nearly the entire world walked unwillingly through the dystopian door that opened before us, and here we remain. In this new world, there is a loss of trust in our government and in healthcare. Relationships between family members and friends are fractured, another source of grief. I fear some of these fractures will never be repaired. More and more evidence is coming forth about the plethora of harms the covid shots have caused. One of the latest to come to light is turbo cancer, so called because these cancers are abnormally aggressive and often do not respond to treatment. The pharmaceutical companies are buying into new cancer treatments so that they can now profit from cancer their shots caused. Still, we are told the shots are safe and effective. As Dr. Pierre Kory commented, there is “an unimaginably dystopian nightmare all around us . . . while society seemingly carries on as normal.”

The good news is that God is still working! I have hypothesized that the evil we are experiencing is making people more likely to turn to Christ. Here is proof of that.

“Revival! My 14 year old was handed a Gideon Bible on the way into BERKELEY
High last week. He was reading it in his physics class. His teacher got all huffy and said Christians are bad people. My 14 year old looked her in the eye and said, I’m a Christian and so is my family. It shut her up! That’s a 4th generation Berkeleyan that used to belong to the church of Dan, where I was the founding member. My wife, a devout atheist until 2 years ago, just boarded a plane for a women’s Christian conference in Ft. Worth this weekend. Nearly every person I know out here that was persecuted during the mandate era is finding a path back to faith. Keep up the persecution and we will be planting a church soon!”

"I have to include myself as one of those who is turning toward Christ
because of what I have seen on Earth." Oscar

The only sure foundation I have is my faith in Jesus Christ. No matter what happens, He has promised that He will not forsake me. As the old song says, “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.” This is spiritual warfare and our enemy is fierce. The future here looks pretty bleak. Do you know my Jesus? Are you prepared for eternity? Do you have the assurance in this life that He is guiding, comforting, and molding you? Jesus left His rightful place in heaven to be with His creation and show them the Father. He lived a sinless life, died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins and rose again three days later. He is now at the right hand of God, interceding for us. He is willing to forgive all who come to Him in faith.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28

Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:5-6